Chris

As we were entering the elevator in the hotel lobby, I was thinking what an adult my brother has become. I’ve been driving across the country with him, his wife and his four-month-old baby. He’s moving to his new home in Washington to start his government job and begin the rest of his life.

As I am thinking about all this, I notice a mirror across from us. I could see the man at the front desk watching us. As I made eye contact with him, I fell to my knees because my brother had just punched me in the crotch. The elevator door closed at that moment and we went to the second floor and my brother can't stop laughing.

I dropped off five copies of my mini-comics for consignment at Quimby’s this past December. Since I’m moving tomorrow, I decide to collect the sixty cents for the one copy I sold and get the other four copies back to mail to friends.

While I was there I bought a copy of Simon Rich’s Ant Farm. The clerk gave me a 10 percent discount because people who have stuff on consignment get a discount. What the fuck! Why didn’t someone tell me that before? I have easily spent 500 dollars at Quimby’s since December.

The money I made wasn't applied to my purchase. Now I have to decide what I am going to spend this 60 cents on. Any suggestions?

I am going to come right out and admit it. There are a few words and terms that I don’t fully understand the definitions of but I use them anyway to sound smart. I guess. Here is a list of five words that if I use you can call me out.



5. Existentialism

4. Deconstructing

3. Ayn Radian

2. Post modern

1. krunk

My landlord called to let me know the police would be stopping by. He had gotten a call from them the night before about the bench on our porch being stolen from a park in Ypsilanti. Craig and Ethan were here when the police came to get it. When Amber came back no one told her what happened. She left a note downstairs that said something like "What happen to the bench outside," or "What the fuck happen to the bench outside." When she was here I told her it was a stolen bench. She said "Yeah, I know that," because the people who lived here before told her they stole it. Then she said "The city most have seen it whenYi [our landlord] put it on the sidewalk after painting our porch." I am glad the city got it back.

I want to make shirts that say "I sold my soul for ska." I would sell so many shirts because people would see them and go "I did sell my soul for ska." And then they would have to buy them.

-Some kid standing outside a house show on Normal streat.

I decide I would do the smart thing and ride my bike to the library. I thought the people in their cars would feel foolish as I passed them on my bike. Ha ha, suckers, you should have known that the construction would slow you down.
When I crossed over 94 and actually ran into the construction on Hamilton I freak out. Holy smokes, there is no bike bath here! There isn’t even a sidewalk and hey, these cars are really close to me. I could only image who was laughing now.
I decided to cut through a park and take a short ride around the lake. It would be a nice detour. It was fun getting lost. I was finding all these cool bike paths and seeing parts of Ypsilanti I have never seen before. It was fun at first. It was going to reshape my vision of the town.
Well, the lake ain’t that small. Sometimes the bike paths that went through the woods would just end and I would have to turn around. I should have went back but I kept thinking I only have a little farther to go and surely I was closer then I was far away.
By the time I got to the library two hours had passed. And I had this huge pain in my butt. I didn’t have the most comfortable seat. I would ride standing as long as I could but eventually the pressure on my palms would hurt too much.
I only spent about ten minutes in the library. I returned my books and grabbed a couple videos for my Culture and the Holocaust class.
I told myself I would cut through the construction traffic and call it a day. It wouldn’t be as bad as getting lost again. When I got to the traffic part I freaked out again and went around the lake. It took another two hours.
Next time I go I’ll just drive.

The best way I can describe my relationship with my mom is by quoting something she asked me when she called last week. “Chris, Do you know that you’re not suppose to put peanut-butter in the fridge? You put it in the pantry, but you don’t put jelly in the pantry after it has been open. You know that, right?” Yes mom, I have figured that out.
My mom stopped by to do a week worth of laundry she had from staying at the veterans hospital in Ann Arbor. She has been going through chemotherapy because she has ovarian cancer. She was waiting in her car outside of my apartment when I got back from my Culture on the Holocaust class at EMU. She looked good. I was worried because I have heard some rough stuff about chemotherapy.
We had some time to kill and it was around lunchtime so I told her I would take her out for lunch. We went to the Golden Wall. My friend Ben Miller works there and it’s walking distance from where I live.
When Ben was taking our order my mom smiled at Ben and told him he has really nice eyes. Ben smiled back and said someone elses mom had told him the same thing. When Ben left my said Ben looks really friendly and like a person you can easily trust. She was still smiling as she told me that but then started to frown. Then she said, “Unlike that beedy eyed bastard George W. Bush.” I am not sure if she clinched her fist but I could picture her doing it.
When I went to grab something to eat before my 7:00PM class I had found that someone had put their peanut butter in the fridge. It was probabley Jason Voss that put it there.

This weekend I heard some shit I thought I would never hear. I heard some moron say this "If Hillary Clinton gets elected president I am moving back to Canada." Yes ever Canada has morons... or at least they had one.

When I checked the answering machine I founded two creepy calls that included breathing and what sounded like drooling. Later my sister called and said she tried to have her babies leave a message. Give it a break. They can't talk yet.

A while ago a I ran into Adam K. at 7 11. I hadn't seen him in three years. I called out his name and he said "Hey I owe you five dollars." Then he got out his wallet and paid me. Awesome. Sometimes life is pretty sweet.